2004-01-05 - 4:03 p.m.

i waited for him to call on his break, and realized he isnt ever again. and i have found a new disgust for people in love. sorry. being at work is torture. i hide my face as much as possible, and i sneak into the bathroom to cry. and i cant tell anyone what is wrong, because telling people would make it true. and i am not ready for pathetic faces and condolences. i feel like such a fool, last week one of my agents asked me if this was the person i was going to spend my life with, and i told him without a doubt. he made a 'your too young face' and i told him he was wrong. i dont want to tell him i am the one who was wrong.