2003-09-12 - 9:18 a.m.

this morning driving in, i thought about my dad. i think he is going to die soon. he has no terminal illness nor does he drive a motorcycle..but somewhere in my head he was dieing and i started crying. thats right my head is faking my fathers death and my tears are playing the trick too.

i dont know when it started, but i really need to listen to music in the morning so i dont think.

i also feel horrible today. my whole body feels like i had some intense work-out (which is not the case), and my face feels like a clogged drain. it is going to start spewing any minute. arg.

at least it is friday. not that i have much to look forward to tonight, as eric will be working. he hasnt updated in 50 days. i remember the day he updated. i was having one of those "i just looked at all the pictures in glamour magazine, and suddenly im over-weight, by like fifty pounds" and because he wouldnt admit that i was fat, i left in an outrage, and ate ice cream with rachel. god i fucking miss her. our conversations seem so forced. i know we both want to talk to each other, but on the phone...not so much. im used to her being like "im coming over in five minutes, what do you want to bake?".

last night i had a dream that i was getting my hair cut and the mayor walked in and said it was his turn. i actually got up. then in another dream or maybe it was the same one-one of my clients followed me into urban outfitters and told me he needed so paperwork and when was his house going to be advertsied in the newspaper.

i think i need a vacation from my life.

only seven and a half more hours until work is over! yipppeee.