2003-04-14 - 10:41 a.m.

i did an excessive amount of exercising yesterday that has left me disabled. but it is all for that green bikini in drawer. and its not that is doesnt look okay now, i just find things to focus all my attention on, so i dont need to deal with other things. and right now, that is looking super in that damn thing.

we spent most of the night piled up on the couch, watching buffy and tickling each other with our toes. it was needed quality time that reminds me why i live life.

the weather is getting warmer and it makes me feel fuzzy inside. ive been waiting to send out most of my cards until this week, so if i promised you one, you shall get it this week.

i came to work all sweater vested up and khakied out, but i dont think my boss noticed my ataris pin on my collar..hehe, ill show them. making me dress this way and and and well, you know...making me feel like i am in a uniform. i didnt know what i was going to say there. the sweater i am wearing was mom's, so it is kind of comforting walking around in something she prided herself in. i almost feel her courage rubbing off on me (or it could be lint).

you should read Jive13, that rachel's diary. the last entry is about me. and not that i like the attention, but to show how much we know of each other. we have this amazing bond that is sometimes so overwhelming it hurts. she knows me much better than i know myself, and when you have someone in your life like that, there is nothing else in the world you need. (this is me thanking her, because i didnt get a chance on the telephone)

well this is a very optomistic entry. lets hope i keep up with it, pretty soon tricking myself to be happy will be something of the past.

until later...

have a good one.