2003-01-05 - 10:07 a.m.

i think i am a little better than i was a few days ago.

i dont know what to say about it, or how to react to some peoples comments, but i am going to get through it...i always do.

it hurts inside, and everyday it is growing, the more i realize what i am doing.

i get all nervous and twitchy when i think about it, and i think that is normal.

what i dont want is people to think less of me or differently because of my desicion. it is my desicion, and i stand behind it one hundred percent.

eric is being supportive about this, and he will be with me the whole time. so i am not alone.

but i have to choose wisely who i tell, since this is such an extremely touchy subject.

this isnt something i want to do, this is something i have to do.