2004-03-02 - 10:06 p.m.

today has been one of those days. the kind you wish away in hopes the next one will be better. it seems i have been wishing away more than the recommended allowance. i have some woman in my ear telling me how to breath right, because as you know, somewhere in the motions is the fucking meaning of life. i try to do more work to keep busy. busy. whoever said that worked is stupid. and it is easier to smile at people than to explain what i really feel like. because, christ, we have been over this time and time again. are you going to tell me to get over it because he isnt coming back? yea thanks. it helps. really. or how about you just talk to me like nothing has happened. yea that is my favorite.

oh today. i wish you would go away. it is all these emotions sitting in the back of my throat. and these thoughts that cloud my head to ache. but if you go away tomorrow comes and we all know how that ends.