2003-09-30 - 10:25 p.m.

i always write this as if i am talking to you. it is a one sided conversation with your face in mind. ill tell you the daily dailies or what is seriously on my mind. we've got into fights over this and i have seen you crack half smiles reading a silly anecdote.

i used to write this in order to tell you things i couldnt say in front of you. somehow watching you read them in front of me was easier.

to know you do not take the time or interest to read this, only makes this so much easier.

maybe you dont read because you think i tell you everything in person now, as if i have overcome my fear. maybe you have other people to read about. either way i feel like i give you everything, and you still place me behind other people. how about that? i know i didnt tell you that in person. we used this as a form of communication, and it is no longer needed.

go read someone elses journal because you need to know how they are doing. because you ALREADY know how i am doing. im disgusted and angry and disappointed.

for now, i go.

have a good one.

later.