2003-03-11 - 10:43 a.m.

in three days i will be on my way to the lovely boston. i am so excited, i could pee my pants. but i am at work, and i dont think they would appreciate it.

i dont think we have any definite plans, except for the place we are staying. i think i have already written this entry, like last week. but my short term memory is a little off base, so bear with me. we are staying at the nine-zero. if anyone has heard anything about it, or if you know first hand, the housekeeping steals from you, let me know!

i think way too much about what i am going to bring, and if i will need to cart my twenty books i am attempting to read, and oh dear, i do need my flip flops. i have taken a sudden liking to wearing them around town in the twenty degrees. people look at me funny, to them i stick my tongue out.

speaking of my tongue, it is really hard to stick my tongue out. everytime i do it, i forget about my piercing and it hits the back of my teeth. and i end up looking stupid when i am trying to insult someone.

last night, eric and i got on the topic of middle names, and i could not remember the middle name of one of my ex's. it bugged me all night. i finally called rachel and she thought i was nuts. but she knew it. lee.

rachel made a comment about eric knowing his ex's middle name. he denied it. rachel and i both agreed he is weird about his ex. he defended himself and made a pondering face acting like he couldnt put his finger on it.

after our call was over, and the nagging in my head lulled, i went on to read a new book, and eric sat and watched wrestling. we didnt talk for a while, and i was wondering if he was angry with rachel and i's comment. but i dont think it bothered him too much. and that bothered me.

if it was the other way around, i would have said something sweet, or defended the fact i called him weird about an ex. but no, he didnt say anything, almost like he knew it was true.

ewww...all this yucky complaining with no meaning what so ever...maybe i just want him to be weird over me.

sometimes i feel like our relationship isnt special enough, or like we aren't both playin full force. maybe it is just me, being miserable at work.

our year anniversary is sunday, hence the trip to boston. maybe i am being pessimistic, because all of my other relationships that lasted longer than a year, went down hill from that milestone on.

i have too many maybe's and not enough for sure's.

have a good one.

sorry.

later.