2003-02-27 - 1:23 p.m.

last night i ran around in a rush cleaning, vaccumming, dishes and what not, because kim was coming over. i must've looked and sounded so desperate to talk. i dont ever talk to anyone, esp. girls. so i was talking a mile a minute about anything i could think of. asking her if she needed anything or if she was thirsty. i was a sad sight. i didnt want her to go, but i didnt want to stay. i am just a pathetic little person. but she said she would call and we'll do it again sometime. this was the event of my month.

im going down to the beach tonight with boy. i am rather excited to get the chance to catch up with ocean and the sand. we may not go all the way down, but just the smell in the air will be enough to get me all giddy and warm inside.

im not sure how eric is feeling about this, but i know i hurt him yesterday. and then he went to see coheed and cambria so he couldnt have been THAT hurt. just give me time, and i will come around. i always do.

and i just found out Buffy is to be ending this season, i am hurt. really hurt.

my brother and his girlfriend broke up a few days ago. i feel really bad for him, i dont think he wanted to, even though he said it was "mutual". stevie doesn't go out with many girls, and he has been with katie for like six months. he started getting watery eyed, and i told him to get out of my room. i dont handle boys crying, esp. my brother. that was harsh wasn't it?

i ate donuts for breakfast and lunch, i feel like a fucking donut.

ugh

have a good one.

later.