2003-07-08 - 4:42 p.m.

i would rather sit here clickng through internet pages, bored, than file or meet some deadline. i have rationalized with myself that at four p.m., i dont owe this company anymore productivity. i find that i will concentrate on mundane things like how my liquid pen bleeds through the little crevises in my palm. ive listened to the same fifteen songs on our radio thirty five times now. i look at the clock every six minutes or so.

i hit people's random button on their diaries and it almost tells a new story.

i look around at these white walls, gray desks and live through proper office protocol and i want to scream and start singing something obscene or lift up my shirt or kick the wall and make a hole. something.

i dont think i am living up to my potential or found what i want to do, but even then..i think i will still be protesting work at four p.m. and checking my personal email.

im never satisfied and i dont think i would have it any other way.