2003-04-23 - 9:29 a.m.

when we went on family trip we used to always take the limo. my father saw it as easier. stevie thought it was cool. cindy was intoxicated, so i dont think she noticed. me on the other hand, i was so embarrased. i hated getting out at rest stops and having people stare at me. for god's sake why couldnt we take a normal sedan.

it did have its benefits, instead of being cramped, i would sprawl out on one of the couches and watch movies the whole way down to the beach house.

my brother used to play posion the entire time. one of their songs just came on the radio. thats what made me think of this. as much as i dreaded the limo, i would give anything to spend time like that with my family again.

i try to figure out how things got so fucked up, and i cant.